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Deviant for 12 Years
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Aborted Regrets
It was supposed to be just that- an it, a thing.
It wasn't supposed to be a he; he wasn't supposed to have my boyfriend's dark hair or my crooked pinkies or my father's flat nose.
He was just supposed to be an it, a thing, a clump of cells....He wasn't supposed to look so much like a child- like my child would.
As I placed my hands over my newly flattened stomach, I felt emptier than I thought I would.
I looked towards the doctor, he smiled at me, warm and sympathetic.
"I'm sorry, I just couldn't..." The words spilled from my mouth without conscious thought despite the fact that I had nothing to apologize for.
The doctor shushed me gently and placed his hand on my shoulder. I found the gesture to be ironically fatherly.
"It's alright. You don't have to explain. I understand."
But the words didn't comfort me; after all, I hadn't been justifying myself to him, but rather trying to justify myself to an unborn boy with dark hair and a flat nose, with eyes that never opened and ears that ne
:iconsykoticstalker27:Sykoticstalker27 16 42
Personal Barbie-doll
The hissing sound of spraying fills my ears
And the smell of “Lil' Princess” Hair Spray
Makes me choke and gag as it has for years
But Mommy's  painfully tight grip stops me from squirming away
Next comes the spray of fake tan, covering my legs and arms
While delicate porcelain squares hide my missing baby teeth
And still Mommy adds more gems, jewels and charms
Until the girl I see in the mirror looks nothing like the real me
A warning from Mommy this time- be quiet and stay in place!
While her hand gently zips up the sparkling dress,
Mindful of a thousand pink sequins and layers of white lace
All the while she “tuts” over my face (“What a mess!”)
Again Mommy shushes my protests and complaints
So quietly I sit, becoming Mommy's personal Barbie doll
I don't move (not once!) as she layers makeup upon my face
All the while she says that I'm just like Cinderella getting ready
:iconsykoticstalker27:Sykoticstalker27 14 33
Word Play
I choose your lovely
         Naughty lips
         and yield to the taste
                              of pleasure.
:iconsykoticstalker27:Sykoticstalker27 7 30
Suicide Note
Mom, Do I have to say
How sorry I am?
I know that this hurt you
Though that wasn't the plan
I was going to be strong
I was going to go on...
Please tell Cam,
The blame is my own
He was the perfect big brother
I only wish
That I had told him so
I had always thought
That I'd make it in the end
Guess I was wrong
All over again
Mom, it's not your fault
So please don't think it is
And one more thing
Tell dad...
That the baby was his
:iconsykoticstalker27:Sykoticstalker27 20 45
Walking in the Dark
I turned my back on the harsh glare of headlights behind me.
A horn blared in the distance, and I flinched slightly at the grating sound.
Damn cars think they own the whole highway. I sighed and brushed back a stray strand of ruffled black hair away from my face.
It had been a long night and my chest burned from too-deeply inhaling the cold January night air.
In a futile attempt at warmth, I drew my thin black jacket
tighter around myself and crossed my arms over my chest. And for a moment, I almost felt warm.
My breath formed white, smoke-like puffs ahead of me.
As I walked by it, my dark eyes were unconsciously drawn to the graffiti-covered highway overpass, the same one that Sara threw herself off of on Christmas.
Even now, I can clearly see her limp figure falling in a graceful arch to the ground, where her delicate form crumbled on the grey cement.
Sometimes, I hate Sara for being so selfish.
Other times, I envy her for that moment of peace she found, that serene expression that r
:iconsykoticstalker27:Sykoticstalker27 16 35
A familiar picture, slightly worn
With curling edges and corners torn
In the center, a flowery dress and giant grin
Tightly clutching a favorite stuffed friend
But the flow of space and time
Has turned soft blond curls
To thin red lines
And the grin has now faded slightly
Just too hard
To be so completely happy
And though a casual observer would have missed it
Baby blues have darkened and become distant
Black rings shad the eyes
And take place of goofy smiles
Just polite contentment
To replace a child's innocence
:iconsykoticstalker27:Sykoticstalker27 4 29
Dragon Riding
She's got golden hair and glowing scales
And smiles while the beast inside wails
Her wings stir and spread
And horns sprout out of her head
Dragon riding! It's a dangerous game
So sign down your name
And prepare for the flame
'Cause she's lookin' for another life to claim
Dragon riding! Be ready for the risk
'Cause you're next on list
And this is more than just a game
Blue eyes change to black and red
Better watch where you tread
This witch is looking for a fight
And she's not afraid to bite
Dragon riding! It's a dangerous game
So sign down your name
And prepare for the flame
'Cause she's lookin' for another life to claim
Dragon riding! Be ready for the risk
'Cause you're next on list
And this is more than just a game
Try to Tame the beast lurking inside
Lest you end up charred and fried
And remember  those fangs aren't just for show
So aim high and duck low
'Cause a dragon's no casual foe
Dragon riding! It's a dangerous game
So sign down your name
And prepare for the flame
'Cause she'
:iconsykoticstalker27:Sykoticstalker27 5 34
Sweet Dreams, Princess
Please wake up
I didn't mean to be so rough
Just open your eyes
And give me that familiar smile
I promise not to hurt you anymore
If you just pull yourself off the floor
Now the blood is spreading even further
Dear God, I've become a murderer!
What kind of monster am I?
I made her bleed; I've made her cry
I have to do something- anything   
First, I must stop panicking
And find a place to hide the body
Then I can escape without anyone seeing me
Nobody will ever have to know
...Wait, did she just utter a tiny moan?
Ah, so she's not dead after all
Only a bit dazed from her fall
Well, I suppose it's all for the best
I'll just send her to bed for some rest
While staying behind to clean up this mess
"Good night, my little princess"
:iconsykoticstalker27:Sykoticstalker27 12 36
The ABCs of Horror
A is for the Alligators that will quickly tear you to shreds
B is for the Boogieman that hides Beneath your Bed
C is for the Chilling laughter from your friendly neighborhood psychopath
D is for slowly Drowning the next time you take a bath
E is for Exciting and Exhilarating Electrocution
F is for Flame-throwers, which are always lots of Fun
G is for the Girl that seduces you before stabbing you in the Gut
H is for the Hell you go through when she makes that first slow cut
I is for the Icepick that so easily pierces the delicate skin
J is for Jabbing you with the blade over and over and again
K is for Killing, the greatest thrill of all
L is for Laughing as blood splatters against the wall
M is for Murder that is so very sweet
N is for the Nylon that binds the hands and feet
O is for Opening your mouth in a blood-curdling scream
P is for Praying that this is just a dream
Q is for finally going Quiet in the end
R is for the Rapture of getting to kill again
S is for the sweet Screams tha
:iconsykoticstalker27:Sykoticstalker27 25 91
A Lily Limerick
I once had a friend named Lily
Who was always so very silly
Often she was hyper
And on her head she wore a diaper
And she liked to wear socks that were frilly
:iconsykoticstalker27:Sykoticstalker27 1 28
Already Won
Time is ticking away
Tick, tick ticking to the end of the day
I'll have to run straight home again
To be there before the darkness sets in
And shadows spread across the land
I must run, so far, so fast, from the Reaper's hand
But it seems tonight that luck is not my friend
I've been held back too far past the day's end
The cold moon; it taunts me, hanging in the sky
Staring at me as I run by
Home is so close; I'm almost there
Then I stumble, trip, fall into a snare
Hidden shadows, my captor waited
Smilng at me, caught in the trap he created
Slowly he approaches, eyes glowing, hungry with desire
His fangs, so sharp, so painful, set your blood on fire
But I fight, struggle, and finally, finally pull away
And he lets me go; he wants to play
My legs ache as I run to anywhere
But no matter what, he's always there
Watching, waiting, tongue moving over his lips
Just a matter of time before I slip
Suddenly I'm backed into a corner, no place to run
I drop to floor, crying because I know: he
:iconsykoticstalker27:Sykoticstalker27 12 41
Life Lived Alone
Damned to wallow in eternal darkness
Abandoned and forgotten by a mother so heartless
I hid myself away to escape a world so cruel and shallow
My face hidden from even a candle's soft glow
And then, I met an angel, for what else could she be?
An angel with bright eyes and a heart full of purity
Her voice awoke the light inside
Brought to life a part of me that I thought had died
In the shadows I watched her every move
I taught her to sing and watched her improve
The fools of my opera could only watch in awe
Her voice even more beautiful than that of our famous Carlotta
She sang beautifully to a full house that night
On stage she was a magnificent sight
I knew then that she had to be mine
I enchanted her with soft songs in her mind
Even as she slept, I sang to her in dreams
But I never foresaw that young fashion-slave could ruin my scheme
To the women it seemed that his face was divine
And really, what woman would want a face as hideous as mine?
That boy, more child than man, took away
:iconsykoticstalker27:Sykoticstalker27 20 44
Sweet Obsession
You are my sweet obsession
My treasured possession
Hush, don't cry, dear one
There's no reason to be frightened
I know you don't like the collar and chains
But until you learn your place, they'll remain
And I wouldn't suggest another attempt at running away
Because, if forced, I will resort to drastic measures to make you stay
Maybe I'll break all of your bones
I would do anything to keep you home
Keep you here with me
Together for forever and eternity
So be quiet, my love, my dear living doll
In time you will learn to accept this all
And learn that love is more than just a game
You played with fire when set men's hearts aflame
And now you've finally been burned
Too bad that freedom was the price for a lesson now well-learned
But I know that in time that you will love me too
Until then, I'll take real good care of you
:iconsykoticstalker27:Sykoticstalker27 23 63
Always Watching
They say the blind use their hands to see
If only I could be so lucky
To use the hands' warm caress in place of the eye's cold stare
To have these hands brush across pink lips and move through soft hair
Oh, if only I could have these hands always on your face
Were I blind, would you let these fingers take my eye's place?
Or would you ignore me like you do every night?
But I don't mind, after all, there are advantages to being out of sight
It's much easier to take my pictures when you don't know I'm there
So very easy to creep ever closer, even steal a lock of hair
And when the night has long since fallen
Again, I will indulge in my beautiful sin
Finally my hands can roam the form so well-traveled by my eyes
Feel the curves that I had long ago memorized
It's almost perfect, but still at every sigh or sound I freeze
Careful not move, careful not to breathe
Luckily you never completely wake
Your sleeping body remains mine to take
All through the night, my hands enjoy their special treat
:iconsykoticstalker27:Sykoticstalker27 3 34
We All Fall Down
Ring around the rosies
Pockets full of posies
Ashes, ashes
We all fall Down!
The battle is starting, and you stand in place
Careful not to let fear show on your face
And while the winners shall take the crown
In the end we all fall down
Ring around the rosies...
Nothing lasts through all of time
There's no unsolved riddle or unsaid rhyme
And though we've remained faithful through it all
In the end, we all must fall
Pockets full of posies...
We wear masks to cover the shame
And desperately search for others to take the blame
And though you dress just like a doll
One day too you shall fall
Ashes, ashes...
Your angry words just fan the fire
Soon the world's overwhelmed with impassioned desire
Though their spirits are now unbound
In the end, they'll all fall down
We all fall down!
I could wear the hero's guise
And seek the villain's prize
I'd be the victor to them all
But in the end, I too shall fall
...Ashes, ashes....
:iconsykoticstalker27:Sykoticstalker27 19 78
Willful Blindness
When will the world realize that things aren't always the way they seem?
Don't they notice that outside I smile while inside I scream?
Why must the world be so blind?
Or do they just not look, too afraid of what they'll find?
Can they not see these bruises in the shape of his hands?
Or how unnaturally submissive I am to his demands?
Are they so deaf that they don't hear the shouting?
Can't they see that my self-confidence has been mutilated into self-doubting?
How can my friends not see the blood on my lips?
How can my family not notice the dark possessiveness of his kiss?
Will no one detect the meaning of way he holds me? How it imprisons me?
How can it be that those who supposedly love me are so unable to see?
It's been ages since my last laugh or smile
Not since the night he left me bleeding on the bathroom tile
I want to leave, to run away, to make my escape
But I feel so weak and helpless from his nightly rape
I remember that when we met I was so naive and young
Believing that we
:iconsykoticstalker27:Sykoticstalker27 12 46


Self Care by DestinyBlue Self Care :icondestinyblue:DestinyBlue 6,256 221 Golden Fish - Mermay 2017 by nati Golden Fish - Mermay 2017 :iconnati:nati 355 9 Gorgon by Deimos-Remus Gorgon :icondeimos-remus:Deimos-Remus 317 27 The Holmes Brothers by gataro The Holmes Brothers :icongataro:gataro 245 8 draw me as one of your french girl by Fukari draw me as one of your french girl :iconfukari:Fukari 3,191 63 *** by annieparfi *** :iconannieparfi:annieparfi 137 3 No girls allowed  by Lelpel No girls allowed :iconlelpel:Lelpel 74 6 Elsiana by muttonfudge Elsiana :iconmuttonfudge:muttonfudge 689 13 Aloy - Horizon Zero Dawn - 2 by loish Aloy - Horizon Zero Dawn - 2 :iconloish:loish 7,421 117 Poni portrait commission by Everybery Poni portrait commission :iconeverybery:Everybery 28 3 624 by yag65 624 :iconyag65:yag65 76 7 bestbuddies by PrinceCanary bestbuddies :iconprincecanary:PrinceCanary 860 16 FB fanart by PrinceCanary FB fanart :iconprincecanary:PrinceCanary 564 17 3.5 seconds..( Feels like) by PascalCampion 3.5 seconds..( Feels like) :iconpascalcampion:PascalCampion 996 58 Arcanine by dekunobou-kizakura Arcanine :icondekunobou-kizakura:dekunobou-kizakura 698 20 Scars of the Past by Valentina-Remenar Scars of the Past :iconvalentina-remenar:Valentina-Remenar 2,302 129



United States
There was a spider in my headphones, and I didn't notice until I put them on.

Gahhh! I can never wear headphones again.

Now, if you'll excuse, I'm going to go have a heart attack now.
  • Listening to: my own screaming
  • Watching: for that's around here somewhere


Add a Comment:
alannatheseedrian Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2016
Thanks for the llama badge!
tfZanben Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2016  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks a bunch for the llama! :D
Midnitez-REMIX Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2016  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the fave!
pinkythepink Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2015  Professional Artisan Crafter
:iconrubcheeksplz: Thank you so much for adding me to your watch! :squee: It really brings a smile to my face which is more than I could've asked for. :D I hope that I can continue to impress with my future pieces! :heart:
pinkythepink Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2015  Professional Artisan Crafter
:love: Thank you for the favorites, it really means ever so much to me that you enjoy my artwork! I invite you to add me to your watch so that you can see all the future beaded and stitched pieces I have planned! :blowkiss: Just think of the sparkles... :squee:
Lei-Ren Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2015  Hobbyist
Thanks for the fav!
NJValente Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2015  Professional
Thanks for the fave! 
Makeamukero Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2014
Thank you for the llama!
arisupaints Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hello! Thank you for watching! :w00t:
HungryLuzma Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the llama!
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